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<title>Rock-Hard, Eighteen-Inch Heart by orphan_account</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25231498">Rock-Hard, Eighteen-Inch Heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bengie's Drive In Theater, Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood, Blood Donation, Crack, I'm Sorry, M/M, Penises, Small Penis, Vampires, bllood, blodd, drive in theater, no semicolons we're stupid, ted is a vampire</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 02:55:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>433</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25231498</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bengie did not want to give blood.  Bengie did not want to give anything ever.  So imagine his surprise when he wanted to give Ted his dick-in-a-box (heart).</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bengie/Ted, Original Male Character/Original Male Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Rock-Hard, Eighteen-Inch Heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluemedallion/gifts">Bluemedallion</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Bengie's cock was hard.  This was not unusual, in fact, it was usual.  As Bengie's blood was unwillingly drained from his body to be donated to victims of stabbing-caused blood loss, his powerful Bengie blood engorged his tiny Bengie penis in order to not be taken away from him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"HAha small penis boy!" The blood lady mocked, sneeringly.  She sneered mockingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"IT'S BIGGER THAN YOURS AT LEAST!"  Bengie screamed, but, on the inside, he felt sad.  He knew he peepee smol, but he heartheart rock hard and 18 inch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, a deep chocolate baritone pounded through Bengie's boner--that is, his ear bones.  "I think small is sexy," a low Ukrainian voice muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bengie snapped his neck to find his savior.  He recognized the sexy man, shaped like a Dorito chip, wearing only a golden speedo, revealing deep tan rippling muscles, the speedo wrapped tightly around a huge bulge, it also wrapped tightly around two deep rippling muscley buttcheeks, he had the jawline of a Norse Thor.  Bengie swallowed, as his brain and cock recognized the man immediately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're the man from that porn!" Bengie stopped, realizing for the first time how high-pitched and annoying his voice was.  The massive hunk of a Spaniard turned the color of a ripe tomato.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"God I wish milk had an expiration date," He mumbled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?!" Bengie exclaimed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry, I am embarrassed.  I have gotten much better at sex since that porn, small man."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bengie mumbled, "Y-you seemed pretty good to me.  Not that I noticed, I was looking at the girl!  The whole time!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ted, the Norwegian porn actor, pondered Bengie.  His eyes seemed to whisper, "You are secretly gay, Bengie.  My vampire senses can smell your gay blood."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bengie was about to say, "You are a vampire?!", when the blood lady suddenly ripped off her clothes [A/N: like Magic Michael :D] and pounced on the Canadian giant.  Ted yeeted her into a wall and she died.  Then he set his sights on the small drive-in owner, smiling to show off his fangs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I am gay.  Do you want to come home with me?"  The North Korean vampire bluntly asked.  Bengie, wide-eyed and hard-cocked, shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“N-no Tedward, I’m not gay!”  The Sicilian man sighed, biting hard into Bengie’s arm.  The smaller man’s eyes rolled back in pleasure, but soon the sweet pang of the fangs was gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he walked out of the donation clinic, Tedward looked back.  “Happiness can find you in the dark, if you have a flashlight with you.  But a flashlight needs double-A batteries for penetration. -Albus Dumbledore."</span>
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